It has been a while since CP “The Fanchise” and Max Kellerman debated about the New York Knicks. So let’s review the first battle.
A debate is a meeting of the minds, where people argue which opposing viewpoint is superior. But a debate is also like a verbal fight; like boxing, there are dodges, whiffs, set-ups, power punches, and dirty back-handed tricks.
When CP “The Fanchise” traipsed onto Max Kellerman’s radio show on ESPN, full of swagger and smoke, he returned to the uproaring applause of the Knicks faithful. Then, like a valiant knight of old, he verbally slayed the turncoat dragon of Max Kellerman.
Max, once known as “The General,” a moniker long–
Max stepped forward with flat feet. “What are you pointing at?” he said as CP put “three to the dome.”
“You used to know it well, as a former Knick fan,” CP says. “This is a call sign to Knicks nation.”
True to the legends, CP arrived with a cigar lounge full of smoke. Max’s ignorance of the gesture was immediate proof of his serpentine ways. Nevertheless, Max eats this quick 1-2 punch well and regains his footing with a set-up.
“Why are you so loyal to a franchise that has stunk for basically your whole life?” Max says.
That question is sure to spur deep introspection within the Knick fan.
(I started watching during the 2014-15 season, which, as most of you know, was one of the worst in franchise history. I’ve watched every game of every season since. I’m not sure why I’m so loyal. Perhaps it’s masochism or cruel cosmic torment. The question of my loyalty reaches into the depths of my soul… and I’m afraid of the answer. Luckily, CP has much more of a basis for his diehard fandom.)
“I went through the Ewing years,” CP counters. So, he was “eight years old” when he entered the game, a decent enough retort (seven years of age definitely wouldn’t have cut it, though). CP landed a few clean jabs by telling Max to “do his Google’s” while Max tried (and failed) to calculate CP’s age.
Despite the initial minute of dominance, CP quickly retreated as Max followed up the previous exchange by saying, “What have the Knicks done for you since then?” An unblockable shot. The Knick franchise has groveled in the depths of ineptitude and negligence for more than two decades. Such gross incompetence would be tragic if it weren’t so hilarious. CP admits to this but added that “Knickstape was good,” in a half-hearted tone, an opening which Max quickly pounced on.
“One year of getting into the playoffs and not getting out in the first round, and you’re celebrating that?” Max said. “See, this is what I mean about the mind of an abused Knicks fan.”
To Max, there’s no such thing as an optimistic Knicks fan. That idea is an oxymoron, a paradox, something less tangible than Thibodeau’s hairline. No, there’s no such thing as an optimistic Knicks fan, only a naïve, pitiful deluded human, constantly licking at the hand that beats them and saying, “Y—yes, Mr. Dolan, we’ll pay $300 for nosebleeds, and we’ll like it!”
CP then pivoted to offense by throwing a power shot to hide that weakness.
“Max, you have sold out!” CP said. “You used to be in these streets. You used to call it down the middle—objective.”
“Objective?” Max asked, exasperated. “Casey, I was never objective! I was a Knicks propagandist! I was drinking Knicks Kool-Aid and selling Knicks Kool-Aid. I was peddling [it]!”
Due to the veracity of these power shots, there was a minute of confusion, where CP seemed to think Max was accusing him of being a propagandist. But at this moment, we glimpsed into the psychology of Kellerman.
Max was once a Knick fan who was forced, due to his career, to sell the Knicks to the public at the peak of their mediocrity. To accomplish this, he fell further down the hole of Knick Fan Delusionality Disorder, forcing himself to say things like, “there aren’t five guys in the NBA who I would trade Eddy Curry for” or “I wouldn’t trade David Lee for Kevin Garnett.”
Max was a genuine, optimistic fan, just like all of us, despite his peddling. But losing season after losing season, that optimism turned into bitter, jaded realism. Again, Max was just like one of us until it occurred to him: “why care for a franchise that doesn’t care for me?”
Max gladly outs himself as a media shill but said he feels no shame for it. And though CP exposes him in front of the entire fanbase, Max ate the blow like a bowl of spaghetti-o’s. In the intensity of the exchange, both opponents stepped back for some levity. However, Max couldn’t help but sneak in a low blow by calling his opponent CP “The Franchise” instead of “The Fanchise.” A sly remark meant to poke at CP’s ego and throw him off balance.
(I honestly thought the same for a while, though, so it could just be an innocent mistake.)
At the end of his tirade, Max revealed why he left New York and shot straight to Los Angeles: the Musical Monarch of Madison Square Garden, James Dolan. A solid defensive position.
“You went Hollywood,” CP said, a clever play on words. “Where is the honor in front-running? How did it make you feel when (the Lakers) won a championship?”
“It made me feel good,” Max says. “Would it have felt as good if the Knicks won a championship that I had rode with the whole time? Of course not.”
I think that may be the answer to Knick fans’ undying loyalty. We’ve sat through so much turmoil that once we see success, the excitement, joy, and appreciation will course throughout our bodies and give us a rush that we’ve never felt before.
For instance, after sitting through six years of trash rosters and then experiencing the playoff-bound 2020-21 “WE HERE” Knicks, the experience felt like a drug. Tears welled up in my eyes after RJ Barrett beat Bogdan Bogdanovic to the hoop and dunked him through it.
(This was also during the height of the pandemic, where sometimes the only thing I had to look forward to was the Knick game that aired at 7:30 pm)
This reason is why Knick fans are so loyal. We know if that championship ever comes, though it never may, the feeling and celebration will be greater than any of us could ever imagine.
However, Max is too far gone to be optimistic.
“That’s the point, Casey,” continues Max, “they’re never winning a championship!”
“It’s all part of the journey, Max!” CP said with a tint of hope in his voice that suggested that Knicks fans’ suffering will one day be worth it. A flame of hope that once burned, then suffocated, within Max.
“You’re not on a journey. You’re on a treadmill!” An excellent, underrated counter shot from Max.
The debate continued, but here we see the crux of the issue. Max is an older gentleman, born the same year the Knicks won their last championship. He’s lived through this drought, and after a lifetime of hoping his loyalty would pay off, he’s felt nothing but disappointment and pain. Now, he sees CP, a man just as bright-eyed and hopeful as he once who is destined to toil in the same misery.
Though CP landed the heavier shots, Max was completely unfazed by them and even managed to land a few of his own. If we scored points, CP would be the victor. However, the duel is a stalemate in the grand scheme of things. If the Knicks faithful reach the promised land, they’ll sing “hallelujah!” as CP conducts the choir. But if the Knicks continue to stink until the end of eternity, our flame of hope within us may inevitably die. And if that flame dies, then Max will be sitting in his office, rubbing his hands together, cackling as he watches Bubble highlights.
Only time will tell who truly won this debate. But I can tell you for certain when MSG was buzzing after their first playoff win in almost a decade, Max probably wished, even for a brief moment, that he could jump into the crowd and celebrate the Knicks just like he did as a child.
This debate, inconsequential as it may seem, brings essential aspects of humanity into question. For example, how loyal is too loyal? Is loyalty even worth anything if it never pays off? If that’s the case, is it better to be disloyal? The diehards will know in time.
Stay tuned to KnicksFanTV.com for the latest Knicks news, rumors, and recaps throughout the 2021-22 NBA season. And in case you missed it, check out the first debate between CP “The Fanchise” and Max Kellerman below!
